Janet Jackson Details Her Low Self Esteem & Depression –  I Saw My Failed Relationships As My Fault, I Berated Myself

In an open letter to Essence, Janet Jackson opens up about her battle with depression writing

I struggled with depression. The struggle was intense … Low self-esteem might be rooted in childhood feelings of inferiority.

As a child she admits,

I was happy when my brothers came home from performing on the road. I was happy when my mother lavished me with love. But I wasn’t happy with the way I looked…
She continued,

Put it all together and depression is a tenacious and scary condition. Thankfully, I found my way through it.

Janet Jackson

When it comes to happiness, I’m no expert. I have only my life experience as a guide. I’ve known great happiness and great sadness. But I guess the key question is, What do I really know about happiness?
She adds,

In my forties: Like millions of women in the world, I still heard voices inside my head berating me, voices questioning my value. Happiness was elusive. A reunion with old friends might make me happy. A call from a colleague might make me happy. But because sometimes I saw my failed relationships as my fault, I easily fell into despair.

Janet Jackson & son Eissa

These days, motherhood brings her the most joy.

The height of happiness is holding my baby son in my arms and hearing him coo, or when I look into his smiling eyes and watch him respond to my tenderness. When I kiss him. When I sing him softly to sleep. During those sacred times, happiness is everywhere. Happiness is in gratitude to God. Happiness is saying, ‘Thank you, God, for my life, my energy and my capacity to grow in love.’