A newie movie’s “A Monster Calls.” Handsome Liam Neeson explained how he plays a monster.

I don’t understand anything he said — which was:

“Long ago we’d stand in front of green screens and things got superimposed on them.

It’s now a technical performance-capture imaging process. Extraordinary work. You know about that, right?”

Yeah. Sure. Right.

“My character was to be ancient, wild, relentless. What happened is, I stood in an area.

Surrounding me in a circle was 70 cameras.

Pingpong balls got attached to my extremities.” (ALL his extremities??)

“Each extremity was connected to a computer.” (EVERY one of his extremities you could move just by tapping it?)

“Technology recorded their separate actions (PLEASE, somebody tell Leonardo DiCaprio about this), which then reassembled into the character” . . . or he said something like this.

I’m not sure. I was too busy trying to picture all his extremities.

Liam then lapsed into what we always discuss when seeing one another — our dogs.

“Molly is 16. Very fit, but a wee bit down. The other’s 9. Having a hip problem, but I walk her every day in our country place.

“Listen, see the movie. It’s wonderful. A spectacular and emotional drama.”

So I asked a studio official what it’s about. The cutting-edge professional answer? “I don’t know. I haven’t seen it.”

Sigourney Weaver co-stars. “We filmed in Manchester, then Barcelona.

I play this little boy’s not-loving, imperious grandmother, who is formal with many rules and no great relationship. In the end, they come together.

“Liam’s scenes teaching the little boy courage and faith are remarkable.

All CGI, as you know.” Of course I know, I said, knowing she should only know what I didn’t know.

And then to Sigourney’s most important consideration of the evening. Her shoes.

Bare feet in open-back evening clogs. Slip-ons. Red block high heels. Black silk sides trimmed with gold.

We are not talking Payless here.

“They’re by Céline. I’m crazy for them. Can’t take them off. Greatest shoes I ever had.

I’m wearing them everywhere for everything.”

How much are they?

“I don’t know. I got a discount.”

Glenn’s selfish space trip

October 1998. John Glenn said this to friends:

“The coming space trip with me on board is just for me. I always wanted to go back up after my first trip but was never allowed because, in part, I’d become high-profile.

If anything happened, everyone was afraid it would be something they wouldn’t be able to overcome. So this one’s ego-driven on my part and accomplishes nothing more than that.

“It still ends up a good thing, because we need to show citizens going into space.

“Yes, on this voyage we may learn a little something, but, basically, I’m on board strictly for me.”

He then also said: “I’d rather burn out than rust out.”

Bits and pieces

Party time.

Monday is Doug Johnson and Liz Robbins’ annual Xmas do. Heretofore their yearly guests have included Hillary and her roommate…

Inauguration time.

NYC’s heavy-duty donors plan not to live through days and nights of DC parties with flat Champagne, cheap wine, fake smiles and tuna salad leaking through paper plates.

They’re flying in for one day and flying out.

Grunted one guy: “Grateful for the coming holiday? What’s to be grateful? I can’t even pay my bills.”

His listener: “At least be grateful you’re not one of the creditors.”